The Coffin Hop – A Zombie Bedtime Stories Contest!

Halloween is here. I originally wanted to make a maniacal video of myself hacking apart a pumpkin with a hatchet in my kitchen.

Unfortunately for us all, my boyfriend vetoed my brilliant plan. Thus, I am instead joining the Halloween Coffin Hop, and featuring a contest just for you, my beloved readers. Do check out the featured 99+ sites, because there’s lots of great contests and talent out there!

Now, for the gory details!

1) HAVE A SPOOKY FUN TIME!

2) INVITE YOUR FRIENDS AND SPREAD THE WORD!

3) THIS TOUR STARTS: Monday, October 24, 2011 at Midnight (PST)

THIS TOUR ENDS: Monday, October 31, 2011 at Midnight (PST)

Winners will be drawn and posted November 1, 2011

4) MEET AND MINGLE WITH THE AUTHORS! EXPERIENCE A NEW DESTINATION AT EVERY STOP! PARTICIPATE IN EVERY SITE’S CONTEST AND BE ENTERED FOR CHANCES TO WIN MULTIPLE PRIZES! EVERY BLOG VISITED IS ANOTHER OPPORTUNITY TO WIN!

5) PARTICIPATION AT ALL SITES IS RECOMMENDED, BUT NOT REQUIRED. THE MORE SITES YOU HOP, THE BETTER YOUR CHANCES OF WINNING PRIZES.

6) DID I MENTION TO HAVE A SPOOKY FUN TIME?

***Authors have full discretion to choose an alternate winner in the event any winner fails to claim their prize(s) within 72 hours of their name being posted or after notification of win, whichever comes first. Anyone who participates in this tour is subject to these rules***

Then, the Prizes:

The three selected winners will win copies of the first two Zombie Bedtime Stories, Locked In and Locked Out.

Now for my house rules:

  1. Like me on Facebook, or follow me on Twitter (Preferably both, but I’m not picky!) If one of these is against your Internet religion, subscribe to my blog instead.
  2. In the comments, post a zombie-themed limerick.

Now, to get things started, I will go first!

I met a handsome dead fellow
His disposition was quite mellow
His return to life
Caused much strife
And I was found dead in a meadow

Okay. Anything you have has to be better than that, so fire away! Check out the other sites and have fun (the most important part.)

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29 comments on “The Coffin Hop – A Zombie Bedtime Stories Contest!

  1. Stant Litore says:

    Oh, I love limericks!

    There once was a chick who was dead
    In lamplight her eyes shone quite red
    She groaned and she moaned
    And chewed on some bones
    ‘Til a hatchet took out her head

    Though that isn’t terribly good. Maybe:

    There was once was a zombie named Marley
    Crashed into a bar on his Harley
    Fell off the bender
    And ate the bartender
    His blood in the beer was quite gnarly

    Ugh. That’s bad, too. Anyway, hope you enjoy!

  2. In the lamplight you look odd, my dear
    There is something going round, this I fear
    Is this something I’ll get-
    Will I mourn with regret-
    When you lovingly nibble my ear?

  3. Julie Jansen says:

    Hi Thea! Here’s my shot at a limerick…

    I spent the weekend at ZomBcon.
    Where I had fun getting my zombie on.
    I avoided several bites.
    Participated in some fights.
    And learned that zombie love is totally wrong 🙂

    Last line could use some work!

    Happy Halloween and Happy Coffin Hop!

    Julie
    julie.jansen(at)yahoo(dot)com

  4. SharonS says:

    okay, nothing is coming to me, but….I did rewrite an old favorite:

    Now I lay me down to sleep
    I pray tonight my soul to keep
    If I should die before I wake
    I pray my head, my friends do take

  5. SharonS says:

    One, Two – the dead are coming for you
    Three, Four – they’re at the door
    Five, Six – now you’re sick
    Seven, Eight – it’s to late
    Nine, Ten – the dead will win

    here is another one 🙂

  6. ashkrafton says:

    There once was a charming young writer
    who wanted a zombie to bite her.
    She looked high and low
    but what do you know?
    The dead remained buried to spite her.

    cheers,
    Ash K

    the Kraftmatic Adjustable Blog
    http://ash-krafton.livejournal.com

  7. OK, this was fun.

    A zombie’s diets quite mean
    but for you it is still quite a scream
    they will chew on your ear
    and then on you rear
    until all that is left is your spleen

  8. Well isn’t this serendipitous, because I have a zombie themed limerick lurking in my poetry corner.
    Here it is:
    Irish Zombies

    There once was a zombie from Cork
    who ate all his brains with a fork.
    He stabbed them with zeal
    gladly munching his meal
    claiming it tasted like pork.

  9. Cathy says:

    Just dropped in on the Coffin Hop so I followed you on Twitter. And now I suppose I’ll have to think up a limerick. Hmmmmm…

    There once was a zombie named Sue
    Who wished for a lovely new ‘do.
    “Just a bit off the top!”
    But there came a chop, chop–
    Her head rolled, crying boo-hoo.

    Um, yeah, pretty bad. But you didn’t say it had to be a GOOD limerick.

  10. Fun! Here we go…

    My professor was such a big pain,
    condescending and terribly vain.
    I wished I was smart,
    so I ripped out his heart,
    and then went and ate his fat brain.

  11. Oh, Thea… I have totally never attempted this before…

    The animated cold flesh kept coming instead
    no matter how many I filled with virtual lead
    the quarters disappeared
    my wife cowered in fear
    as my sons and I played House of the Dead

    I can’t believe you made me do that. *laughs*

    I am following all as you requested. In spite of my complaining that was fun. 😉

    -Jimmy

  12. Tim Ward says:

    Oh boy, here goes nothing…

    The rumbling in my belly is getting worse,
    lifting the blanket, a red rainbow spurts,
    The door rattles and lets out a creek,
    To the bedroom I’m sure I could sneak,
    Until I freeze at the hungry face that is hers.

  13. Rebecca says:

    Hi, #42 hopping in. I won’t be entering contests but letting you know I’m visiting and I tweeted your blog.

    Cheers!

    Rebecca

  14. Jason Alberich says:

    Your blog is awesome!

    I’ve got a girlfriend who’s a ghoul,
    She is still pretty cool.
    She nibbles on my arm
    but does me no harm
    I keep her submerged in the pool

  15. They say I’m a zombie; I’m not
    Though my skin smells like mind-numbing rot
    There’s a reason for that
    It’s because that damn rat
    Stole my finger before it got shot.

  16. David says:

    I am on my mobile so forgive the typos!

    The dead risen up from the grave
    Not one will be nice or behave
    They shuffle around
    With nary a sound
    I wet my pants as I tried to stay brave

  17. Jason Darrick says:

    I think Voltaire beat us to all the good lines with his song “Zombie Prostitute” (SHAME if you’ve not heard it.) However, I promised I’d play along, so here I go:

    Thea’s got an awesome zombie blog
    Unlike those walkers, it’s never a slog
    With a blade or a gun
    Stopping zombies can be such fun
    I used up my rhymes so here’s a zombie frog!

  18. It took me a few minutes, but I finally came up with one.

    I once met a zombie named Clyde
    Who had very recently died
    Not your average ghoul
    He’s really quite cool
    As long as you’re not his new bride.

    drainbamaged.gyzmo at gmail.com

  19. Rob Smales says:

    I once while cruising the city,
    Met a Zombie who wasn’t too pretty.
    He fell all to pieces,
    and I’m not talking Reeces,
    And I don’t have an end for this ditty.

  20. Rob Smales says:

    There once was a living dead singer,
    Who’s sex appeal, it did linger.
    So I said “Zombie girl,
    lets us give it a whirl!”
    But instead she just gave me the finger.

  21. Rob Smales says:

    There once was a zombie named Jape,
    Who’s bod was in terrific shape!
    He started out strong,
    decomposed before long,
    Now his arms are held on with Duct Tape!

  22. Rob Smales says:

    There once was a Zombie named Fred,
    Who was unaware that he was Dead.
    That living Dead Singer
    Put him through the ringer,
    Now he’s naught but an animate head!

  23. Rob Smales says:

    There once was a Zombie named Stan,
    With a very intricate plan.
    He would lie in the dirt,
    And pretend to be hurt,
    And then munch every help-giving man.

    But true foresight his plan did lack,
    When he lay in the great muddy track.
    The old lady was blind,
    and it was poorly timed,
    She crushed him with her Pontiac.

    Then more traffic came on the double,
    And Stan was in terrible trouble.
    His luck was quite sour,
    He’d chosen Rush Hour,
    Now Stan’s nothing but a Blood Puddle!

  24. Anne Michaud says:

    He is dead
    No more dread
    He comes to life
    Party all night

    Yeah, I am no poet, sadly:(

    Happy Halloween and blog hop!!

    • Tim Ward says:

      Until he lost his head.

      There you go, Anne, a little coffin hop help in thanks of your awesome competition of 100 words to fear. That and this blog have been fun to read and were great ideas.

  25. Red Tash says:

    Limericks are way harder than they look, so I’m taking a pass on this one.

    BUT, you people are amazing.

  26. There once was a zombie named Paul,
    Who couldn’t write limericks at all.
    He knew what to do,
    But could not follow through,
    ….. Braaaiiins.

    (Heh. Check out my site for my Coffin Hop giveaway, if you like. Happy Halloween!)

  27. nerdygnome says:

    Thank you to all who participated! There were many excellent entries, and the winners have been decided! Check out the winning entries!

    https://nerdygnome.wordpress.com/2011/11/01/the-coffin-hop-ends-and-here-are-the-winning-entries/

  28. […] To see what started this go to https://nerdygnome.wordpress.com/2011/10/23/the-coffin-hop-a-zombie-bedtime-stories-contest/#comment-… […]

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